


Bloody Bed

by destiny335



Series: Human!Simon & Daylighter!Raphael Domestic Life [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Daylighter!Raphael, Established Relationship, Fluff, Human!Simon, Humor, M/M, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 20:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11631465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destiny335/pseuds/destiny335
Summary: 4. You bought me a coffin shaped bed to sleep in, I hate you.~ Link to the AU ideas: http://prettyboymaximoff.co.vu/post/163300698606/human-x-vampire-aus ~





	Bloody Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Rated Teens and Up for cursing

After learning of Raphael's secret, Simon instantly started to make vampire puns, whether intended or not.

One example was when the two decided they may want to adopt a dog. "Hey Raphael, you know what a perfect dog for us would be?"

"What Simon?" Raphael actually expected Simon to give him a reasonable answer, but he doesn't even know why he would think that.

"A blood hound! Huh! Huh!"

That joke required Raphael to get up and leave the room for a couple of minutes.

* * *

Another time was when the two of them were at a bar. Simon was in charge of ordering drinks while Raphael found them a seat. Finally finding their table, Simon handed Raphael his drink, a shit-eating grin on his face. Raphael, not recognizing the drink, asked Simon what it was.

"A Bloody Mary."

Simon got to sleep on the couch for that one.

* * *

Raphael was used to the jokes by now. It's been a couple of weeks since Simon found out. But _this_ , this took the cake for a bloody vampire joke.

"You do realize you have to sleep in this too, right?"

Not even dropping the smile once, Simon just nodded. He was too ecstatic for anything to bring his mood down at the moment. "Whatcha think babe? I think we should even redecorate the entire bedroom. Maybe some red walls and some black wood flooring. I'm feeling a black and red theme honestly."

Raphael wanted to be angry. Hell, Simon literally threw out (or gave away, he didn't even know) their old bed just to buy a fucking bed that looked like a coffin. Simon was enjoying this way too much and he really wanted to be angry.

But Simon was also really happy, and he couldn't take that away. "We are  _not_ redecorating the bedroom. And I swear to God, if I come home one day and see that you did so, I will hurt you."

 'Okay, okay. I promise I won't redecorate the room. _But_ , we are keeping the bed."

"Fine."

"Oh come! Wait, did you just say yes?"

Raphael just nodded, not at all pleased. Magnus will never let him live this down if he knew. Then again, Magnus has been pestering him to tell Simon for a while now what he was. But he has been so worried that Simon would give such a negative reaction when in all honesty, he should have knew that Simon was accept him fully. Because this is _Simon_ we're talking about here! The man who still loves superheroes and reading and collecting comics. This is the man who loves paranormal things and the fact that his _husband_ is a vampire has got to be the most interesting thing in his life along with one of the best.

"We can keep it on one condition that _no one_ finds out about it. Not even Clary, who I know you are dying to tell."

"Fine! And you know I love you, right?"

"I love you too _mi amor_ **(my love)**."


End file.
